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Hoooooooooooo boy yesterday was awful.
I have never felt so frustrated and out of control.
After my surgery got postponed, I kept the day off so I could make phone calls all day to find a cardiologist (the anesthesiologist is requiring an OK from a cardiologist because I had covid and now have POTS and no one has "seen" me about it.)
And there was one point when this person at an office- I just asked her a question and it turned into this weird thing I couldn't handle because she was lo key treating me like an idiot and also accusing me of lying about who I called before her and I ended up hanging up on her and then proceeding to cry and hit myself in the skull? And actually pull out my hair? Which I've never done before in my life?
Not to mention this one moment when I was still trying to make plans to run an errand and B was like "okay I'll drive" and I realized he prolly meant I wasn't good to drive since I'd been crying all morning and then I threw a fit and cried in the bedroom for hours??
Like... I haven't been at this level of unhinged since LA and it's hard to not blame the outside world for it again.
I have never felt so frustrated and out of control.
After my surgery got postponed, I kept the day off so I could make phone calls all day to find a cardiologist (the anesthesiologist is requiring an OK from a cardiologist because I had covid and now have POTS and no one has "seen" me about it.)
And there was one point when this person at an office- I just asked her a question and it turned into this weird thing I couldn't handle because she was lo key treating me like an idiot and also accusing me of lying about who I called before her and I ended up hanging up on her and then proceeding to cry and hit myself in the skull? And actually pull out my hair? Which I've never done before in my life?
Not to mention this one moment when I was still trying to make plans to run an errand and B was like "okay I'll drive" and I realized he prolly meant I wasn't good to drive since I'd been crying all morning and then I threw a fit and cried in the bedroom for hours??
Like... I haven't been at this level of unhinged since LA and it's hard to not blame the outside world for it again.
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